Developing your Inner Compass takes a little time, a fair amount of paying attention, and a whole lotta self-acceptance. Be kind to yourself as you move through your learning. Be kind to others who are playing a role in your learning.
What you resist outside of you provides a mirror to what you resist inside of you. The parts of you that you don’t like, that you resist to let exist in your identity as if they are something foreign, something for someone else, for the other but not you. This is a rejection of self - the most hate-full act of all.